new years resolutions...

for my resolutions this year i am doing the generic loose weight, get more organized, be busier at work, blah blah blah... but this year my biggest goal and most challenging is to find forgivness. there are times in our lives when we feel we have been so wronged by another that we can actually justify to ourselves the harsh feelings we have towards them. i have found myself in just such a situation. i have been deeply wronged and therefore felt that in my situation there was no place for forgiveness. i felt that surely heavenly father would understand and not expect that of me. but in my stubborness and shortsightedness i did not realize that when holding onto such harsh feelings, and i would even go so far as to say such feelings of hate, the only person we are truly hurting is our ourselves. i have heard all of this before from other people and in church lessons. ive heard it but never really felt its truthfullness for myself or experienced it in my own life. but i have found that it IS true. such feelings are all consuming. they do not allow us to move on from hurts we experience and im done with it. im done being consumed and continually hurt with my feelings whenever reminded of the situation. the person i have these feelings towards is not suffering from how i feel, I am. so im doing this for myself. in reading i have learned much. there is the scripture “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:10). i also desire to recieve the lords forgiveness for my own sins. but how can i expect to have this forgiveness if i cannot do the same for those in my life? this is perfectly illustrated in a parable told by our savior jesus christ. "The Savior then told His disciples a parable so that they might more fully appreciate, remember, and apply the lesson that we must forgive everyone (see Matt. 18:23–32). He described a king who wanted to settle his accounts with his servants who owed him money. The first servant owed him 10,000 talents, which would probably be the modern equivalent of millions of U.S. dollars. The servant was not able to repay the debt, so the king ordered him and his family to be sold into slavery. The desperate servant petitioned for time and patience, promising to pay all. Touched by his sincerity, the king was moved with compassion and forgave his very large debt. The servant, therefore, fell down and worshiped him.
This same servant, who had just been the recipient of the king’s wonderful act of mercy and forgiveness, immediately went in search of a fellow servant who owed him 100 pence, the probable equivalent of a few U.S. dollars. He rudely demanded immediate payment. When the fellow servant pleaded for time and patience, the first servant was not willing to extend what he had just freely received from the king. He had his fellow servant cast into prison until he could pay the debt. This callous act was observed by other servants and duly reported to the king. “And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.” Jesus then added this postscript, “So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses” (Matt. 18:34–35)."
how can we not forgive those who offend us when it is put in such a way? i know that the only way to find true peace and healing in our lives is to let go of those offenses against us and to not harbor such ill feelings. and so for this new year that is what i want. peace and healing in my life. i want to be more christlike in my life and i know that this is where i need to start. i dont mean to preach or sound holier than though because i know it will not be easy and i will have moments where i feel that anger again but i will continually remind myself of our saviors example and strive to be better. so if any of you out there have someone in your life that you have resentments or harsh feelings towards i would challenge you to take up my new years resolution. follow our saviors example and find forgiveness for that person and therefore find peace in your own life as i am hoping it will bring to mine. i hope everyone has a wonderful 2009 and wish everyone luck in whatever new years resolutions they have taken up for themselves this year!